You had the courage to leave a hostile work environment. You now have the right to restore your self-assurance and put the burden of a toxic environment behind you.
The author of this post provides advice on how to recover, move on, and succeed in your new position.
You can overcome setbacks and improve your resilience by being patient and kind to yourself.
It’s no secret that modern workers want to work in settings where their minds and emotions may flourish. Today’s workforce is less tolerant of rude behaviour, inadequate communication, and office drama.
In fact, a recent study by MIT’s Sloan School of Management revealed that a poisonous workplace culture is the main cause of employee departure and is 10.4 times more likely to do so than pay.
Your health may benefit from escaping the barrage of stress that results from working in a dysfunctional environment. However, it might be challenging to completely move over the impacts of a toxic workplace.
In the course of my work as an executive coach, I’ve seen innumerable smart, competent professionals struggle to move past the unpredictableness, incitement to fear, and sometimes bullying they experienced.
They occasionally bring heightened awareness and reaction into their subsequent roles, which has an impact on both their performance and satisfaction.
Consider Gerald, who had been a project manager at a software business for three months. His first 90 days had been a success by all accounts.
He had established good ties with important parties and had put new, urgently required procedures into place. In spite of these outcomes, Gerald was still uneasy about his new manager. I’m scarred by my last part, he said to me.
To prevent my supervisor from twisting and using my words against me, I had to take extraordinary caution when speaking. I could never broach a difficult subject without him blowing out.
It was evident that Gerald’s prior exposure to a poisonous workplace had left a lasting impression. He is not alone either. Given the high rates of employee burnout and departure, workplace trauma is an issue that is both genuine and under-discussed but that is now increasingly crucial to address.
It can result from a wide range of negative behaviours, including racism, social exclusion, verbal harassment, and employment uncertainty.
One technology strategist asked, “Has anyone ever had toxic workplace PTSD? “, which perfectly encapsulated the daily experience of living with professional trauma. Like, when you hear the chime of an incoming email, do you immediately go into “fight, flight, or freeze mode”? Just you?
You’ve already completed the most difficult step by making the courageous choice to leave a hostile workplace. You now have the right to restore your self-assurance and put the burden of a toxic environment behind you. Here’s how to move on, get better, and succeed in your new position.
Find closure.
You might be angry with the people who treated you poorly. Or perhaps you constantly go over conversations and circumstances in your thoughts and consider what you might have done or said differently. Rumination of this kind is typical and understandable. The brain despises uncertainty and will make an effort to find solutions to problems, even if doing so is counterproductive.
The urge for cognitive closure is strong, and it can aid us in achieving acceptance that enables us to move on to something new after something is ended. For instance, Gerald still harboured resentment toward his old supervisor, who attacked him when he tried to be of assistance and didn’t seem to value Gerald. Gerald understood that his employer would never apologise to him and that he neither needed nor wanted one. He needed to be kind to himself and to forgive himself. It was a potent self-healing exercise when I asked Gerald to write a letter to his former self, telling him that he did the best he could with the resources, information, and experience he had at the time.
Give yourself time to mourn the loss of leaving a job, no matter how toxic it may have been. Think about performing a ritual of release, such as composing a “goodbye” letter that you don’t send, archiving or erasing your work files, or trashing old paperwork.
Become in charge of what you can.
No one ever deserves to be mistreated, bullied, or abused, yet a typical reaction to trauma is self-blame. You can start to wonder, “What if I had spoken up sooner?” or experience shame over the abuse you received.
Regaining your power through taking action that enhances your feeling of self and practising self-compassion both help you to regain your confidence.
Consider the scenario where your previous position required you to be available at all times. Shaming oneself for being a “pushover” is not helpful. After all, it was your former employer’s fault for maintaining a “always-on” climate and distributing an excessive amount of work.
In order to speak up when you feel a project isn’t feasible or sustainable in your new capacity, it is much more beneficial to focus your energy on honing your assertiveness abilities. By explicitly stating your boundaries and expectations, put what you learnt from your previous work to good use.
Create a trigger plan.
Be mindful of circumstances at your new employment that feel familiar to you because they trigger previous stress responses. Knowing which events are most likely to emotionally trigger you can help you create a strategy for dealing with them. Being left out, feeling helpless, or sensing rejection are often triggers.
Gerald was especially nervous before one-on-one meetings with his new manager because of his past experiences with a vindictive supervisor. Gerald was able to calm his nervous system by connecting the dots and taking a few deep breaths before the event. He also started paying attention to the stories he was telling himself.
When his employer didn’t provide him encouraging input at first, he first believed, “Here we go again. Similar to my previous work, this one. My boss doesn’t value me at all. Gerald learned to recognise that unproductive inner dialogue and evaluate their connection based solely on its own merits, without extrapolating prior events.
Cherish the good times.
The brain is constantly on guard for possible threats, but this is particularly true after trauma. This is why even after beginning a new role in a safer setting, you could be sensitive to potential slights, critiques, and threats. Savoring, a psychological strategy that includes transforming happy, transient moments into happy experiences and beliefs, can help you rewire this inclination. It has been demonstrated that savouring makes people feel happier, more satisfied, and more capable.
Here are some techniques you can use.
Positive reflection.
Meditating for 10 minutes each day on the feelings and thoughts associated with a pleasant experience.
Three positives.
Daily journaling of three happy occurrences and consideration of their causes.
Spreading to others
Making it a habit to share your “daily highs” with a friend or loved one.
Self-congratulation.
Savouring the occasions during the day when you were able to use your skills.
Optimistic imagination
Considering the following day and carefully visualising all the positive outcomes that might occur.
Conclusion
When you’ve gained someone’s trust in your new work, think about letting them in. Everyone will feel differently about disclosure, but for some people, talking about your past experiences can be a crucial step toward healing. Above all else, look for yourself. Even when not recuperating from the impacts of a toxic office environment, adjusting to a new job can be difficult. You may overcome setbacks and improve your resilience with time and compassion for yourself.
Source: Harvard Business Reviews
